8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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