I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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