Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
