went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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