I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
