alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
