this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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