How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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