dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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