I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
