I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
