Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
