At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is Oprah even human
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
