Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
