What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
