Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
