So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
