Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
