I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
