We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
