Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?

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(305): View more from Florida

I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"

Fav 18 7277 1716
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(914): View more from New York

you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.

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(407): View more from Florida

I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.

Fav 9 2038 1093
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(619): View more from California

there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper

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(778): View more from British Columbia

we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"

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(913): View more from Kansas

Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am

Fav 0 207 111
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(585): View more from New York

Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern

Fav 0 18 36
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