Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
