Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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