happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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