Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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