Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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