Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
