He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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