Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
