i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
