So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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