Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Success! We fucked roommates!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
