when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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