STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
