How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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