1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
