I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize