My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
where am i from again
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
