I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
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