38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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