pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
