I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
