South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You ate ashes out of my bong
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
