I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
