Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
what day is it and did you see me today?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
