Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize