once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think your dad took our porno
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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