that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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