i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
