We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize