I wish I could teleport
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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