My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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