walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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