Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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