she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
