Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
