Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
