I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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