Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
