i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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