I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
