in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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