would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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