With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
