Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
