found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize