Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
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